My History 19 to 22

My History Age 19-22

I was in debt, me and my mother didnt get on, i guess i resented her for what happened during my childhood, and to this day our relationship is on the lines of "less we see eachother more we like eachother". Mum married a new guy called Leigh, i didnt get much into him, given history id had enough of mums boyfriends and vowed to keep clear, but he's turned out to be decent enough (terrible with money though) he adopted cassie and max who desperatley needed a father figure, and im glad to say they have never suffered what i had to endure.

At 19 i met david, little did i know what an idiot he turned out to be, basically he was BI, had a partner and had aspergers, at the time i thought i was his only one, Karma strikes. he'd had me, his partner and a woman with 4 kids on the go, i could of killed him at the time (Ironic as it turned out, i learned a couple of years ago he'd died from taking drugs, and mixing them, official story by the family was he'd died in his sleep natural causes etc but a 21 year old does not die of natural causes, we found out the real reason after digging through it) his partner who had been with him a long time, my heart still goes out to him having to suffer this, i now understand why he did though, and i hope Lee has a good life. After wards i met Craig, he was a decent type of guy at first, but we wasnt suited, he lived with his Ex and pretty much played me around, so i finished it (glad i did, saw him when i visited my parents and hes gone all fat and bald, back then hes was very trim and handsome etc)

At 20 i moved to Cornwall, figured fresh start and all, didnt go exactly to plan though. Was still promiscuous, had a variety of partners most of whom were wastes of time, i hit 21 and had a revelation of sorts, id had enough of my life the way it was, and just kept to myself for about 18 months, i had one partner but he turned out to be an idiot aswel, he'd left me for his Ex and didnt bother to tell me he had, so scratch another, Karma once more me thought. Work had me busy, but i made a few friends, pair of lesbians we partied quite often, was great fun, i pretty much had gone off guys and celebate for a while, i started to go out less and less until i just stopped, my younger isolation came back and eventually Agoraphobia set in.

I was living in newquay for a short while on Mountwise, was not the nicest of places but it was a roof over my head, it was a little bedsit but i was more focussed on my work. During August just before i met my new partner to be Dan, one of my flatmates, called nathan whom happened to be a drug addict, found out i was gay, and decided to kick my door in, break my nose, restrain me to my bed and rape me, it lasted for several hours, he had a couple of "Friends" taunt and mock me and make my life hell again, i left the flats shortly there after, and have never been able to live in shared accomodation, i jump at every noise outside my door still and sleep with my lock knife under my pillow, its something il never forget.

A month after my 22nd birthday, i met this very shy young man called Dan, he was a tad bit shorter than me, and still just learning his own sexual identity, and the pair of us just clicked, the poor guy was so nervous when i met him, but very eager, i very quickly fell for him, i could tell by his character that he would never leave me and he'd never hurt me, i was very scared of being hurt again and was just weary of guys, but this young mans persistance paid off, he treated me with respect and consideration, something which i was new at experiencing, and my love for him was very deep, id never felt this way about anyone, i have not looked at another guy since (granted Mark Whalberg makes me drool but hes a celebrity and allowed to). Dan turned out to be very trusting and in his own way very caring, it also helped that he was hotter than fire in my books and i found him totally irrisistable (still do too=p).

Dan pulled me out of my dive, and with his help (unbeknown to him at the time) pulled me from my agoraphobia, and became the rock under my feet and that which i cannot cope without. and to this day were still very much in love, even though there are stresses in our relationship.