My History Age 1 to 16

This page is intended to give people an insight into my younger days, It also explains why i cannot read A Child Called It and my inherant mistrust of men.

Early Years - Age 1-16
Il try my best to remember everything, but as you can imagine, much of it is a bit foggy, being quite some time ago.

I grew up in a single parent family, i was the eldest. My grandmother kicked out my mum when i was born, for any number of reasons, mainly because she disapproved of my mothers early pregnancy, she was just 16 when i was born, and back then, teenage mums were very much a taboo subject in that social community, very much a traditionalst area, which is ironic considering my grandmother had an affair with my uncles father.

I grew up initially in a place called Charlton, Laurel House, Victoria Way. It was a minging place back then, we had almost no carpet, no curtains and barly anything to sit on, my cousin lived in Down House at the top of Victoria way, and we spent alot of time there, in those days community was everything, we were poor, but we were happy. when i turned 3 and a half my mum gave birth to my brother martyn, whom has ADHD, the father didnt stick around too much, only a few years, but that didnt bother me, my dad lived up in Plumstead and i saw him regually and my new sister Loreal, i only met her once, (but 20 years later i find her and my handsome nephew Edward living in peterborough). By the time i was 5, id lost contact with my sister and my dad, i dont know why even to this day, ive never been able to get back in contact and after nearly ten years of trying ive pretty much given up. Anyway to continue.

Martyn me and Mum and Martyns dad Jim had moved into Plumstead, Walmer terrace, small block of flats behind woolwich college, it was a bigger flat with 2 bedrooms, i felt the odd one out, Mum Jim and martyn playing happy families, and martyn being the tell tale, i didnt particually get on with him that well, and got on even less well with jim. i ended up in foster care for a year or so before i came back to my mum, ive never talked about it much, aparantly she had a miscarrage and couldnt cope with me, but she coped with martyn alright, but i was carefree, nervous about being reunited with them, in the whole year i never talked to them or saw them, i spoke to my nan once a month.

Like before Jim disappeared, not sure why and still dont care why, and it was just me, martyn and mum. Summer of 1990 mum introduced me to her new guy, Ian, which unbeknown at the time, would be the orchestrator of 10 years of complete hell, pain and fear, but at the time and lacking hindsight i just shrugged it off, feining intrest, i ignored mums boyfriends as i saw many come and go. A year later, the violence began, mainly targetted at me, Martyn was pretty much safe from the worst of it and he made sure he stayed that way. Ian was an alcoholic, didnt help with the house bills and my mum had to work to pay them, yet he was earning £700 a week (quite alot 20 years ago), he was 6 foot 2, built like a brick **** house, and took perverse pleasure in beating 7 year old children, and he didnt go easy, full force punches and slaps, caused broken bones and hospital trips. October of 1992 my mum gave birth to Vincent, he was premature by about 6 weeks so had a baby breathing monitor, we moved into North Thamsmead, Drake Cresent a month later, on the night of the 21st of December 1992 Ian got just a bit drunk, and after the daily beatings he gave me, he put Vincent to bed, but neglected to place his breathing monitor on him, and subsequently Vincent died, it was called Cot Death, ive never seen the death certificate so i dont know the exact cause and not been inclined to talk about it with mum either, but i know it was something to do with him stopping breathing.

From there, it went from bad to worse, the beatings continued and they got more intense, i had furniture thrown at me, i looked like id been in a war most of the time, always told i was such a bad child, i began to believe it, i became more secluded from other children, i just joined castillion primary school, and i was a terror, i dont know what came over me, i stole, and lied and all manner of things, but i was never violent, i guess looking back, i was acting the part, never allowed anything nice, i stole what i wanted, and i knew i was going to get a beating so i figured id at least give him a reason to do it.

3 years went by and the beatings never stopped, Febuary 1995 my mum gave birth to Cassie, my sister, which was a suprise, and it was the result of a forced encounter, my mother was on antidepressants after vincent died (and would continue for 15 years), she was a shadow of herself, put on weight, hated herself and tried killing herself, eventually Ian decided to beat the pair of us on a daily basis. we moved to a palce called Lee, Alnwick Road, Had 3 bedrooms again but it was bigger, and Ian came aswel unfortunatly, i was going to Eaglesfield secondary school at the time, so i was up early, when Ian was up (i tried to avoid him as much as possible) and got the Daily Morning beating, Social services had been aware of what was happening but didnt intervene. i became very isolated, started to play computer games in my room, generally staying out of site.

I moved school a few years later to Eltham Green as by then my destructive antics got me expelled from eaglesfield, i was very suseptable to suggestion, and many of the students knew that and took advantage, peer preassure was also high, bullying was common, it got to the point of being beaten at school and beaten at home. One day it got too much and i hanged myself, was very sucessful, if it hadnt been for Martyn calling Mum and Ian  up, id of been in bliss, the pain would of stopped and i would of got the death i saught.

I think that was a wakeup call for mum, i went to my teachers and cried for help, finally it happened, and social servies and the police intervened. it would take a few years to get Ian fully out of our lives, but i managed to get him sent to prison, the judge sentanced him to 30 days, 30 days after i suffered ten years of hell, the only solace i get is that everyone he works with and every job he applies for, he has to declare that hes a convicted child abuser.

Mums life moved on and eventually she landed a Job in Welling, deputy Manageress in a beauty salon, which she had been after for a long time and she wanted it for a long time, and we moved again to Mayday Gardens Blackheath, Ian was in and out of our lives but like history has shown, he eventually left completley.

Mum met another man after a year or so, called Roger, whom at face value appeared to be a victim, of a cheating and abusive wife (HA! oh i hate hindsight, wish i would of known then what we know now), accused of sexual child abuse, but was cleared in court due to a clerical error, he gave real good crocidile tears! little did we know he was grooming my sister, playing my mother and having sex with another woman. but anyway, mum gave birth to my brother Max in 2001, eventually he would be kicked out and left mum for his new girlfriend, he had a daughter by her and the new girlfriend passed away with breast cancer last year.